Monday, 11 June 2012

Angel Wings, Morpheus Matrix Pills and Hula Girl Board Shorts.

One of my favourite fairy tales, like, ever, has to be Sleeping Beauty.  Whilst our bewitched beauty, slumbers away in her comfortable well-attired four poster bed for the most part, I'm impressed with the pure commitment of her Prince Charming as he drives his sword through the thorns of overgrown rosebushes, ignoring cuts on his own body, stumbling his way into the castle.  At long last.  Luckily for us, we never have to search that hard or far, before finding that place, that needful thing, whatever it is that your heart desires.  Everything, you could want for, my dears, can be found via search engines and the internet.  Yes, even, that four letter word - LOVE.  Allegedly. 

Sometimes, on dark and restless evenings, like Sleeping Beauty herself, I recline on my favourite sofa and peruse through my blogging stats.  In particular, the 'key search words' and 'sources'.  These searches are wonderfully entertaining.  I always imagine that incredibly beautiful-yet-quite-mad soul behind the search, sitting somewhere far-far-away across the globe.  And I can see them plugging in a string of seemingly nonsensical words into their search engine and hitting 'enter'.  I also like to imagine what they're wearing, I mean...thinking, what led them down the rabbit hole in the first place?  When you read the searches below, you might well be curious yourselves.

These are a few key search words from my blog, I think they all deserve a heart!  And they've all increased the laughter lines on my face so I've written the character behind the search.  See what you think? 

1)  Alice in Wonderland and Jabberwocky
Emily, an A+ student, searching for notes on her english assignment.  She's never read Lewis Carroll in her life but has high hopes that Harry the school football star will one day notice her in assembly.  Also, she likes to wear paisley sundresses and suffers from Tourette's syndrome. (just a hunch).

2)  Morpheus matrix pills
J.  Only goes by the initial J.  He is 'well cool', -a young dude, connected, in the right cliques.  Frequents clubs and pop-up supper clubs though he won't admit that to his father who's the local Vicar.  Often found in the graveyard, visiting his mothers tombstone. 

3)  Jamie Morrison on a horse
Oh, I think that was my search? Or some other random Polo fan girl.  Not sure... 

4)  girl who could be anyone
Definitely not me... Possibly a former lover.  Maybe wants to reconnect...

5) Board Shorts Hula girl
Surfer dude from Cali.  Also designs his own boards.  Hoping to break into the big league some day.  Meanwhile, he's working nights at a local gas station and reads Oscar Wilde under the counter.

6) "rc peace out 19' boardshorts" 
Bart's sitting in a wooden surf shack in deepest Mexico, his ACDC t shirt still reeks of last night's tequila shots and he's waiting for his one-night-stand to wake-up and leave.  It's awkward.  Bart's a runaway from a wealthy family.  His father's in Texas researching some big oil fields; his mother's on with the pool boy.  It's all very cliche.  

7)  Free spirit tattoos
Her name's Kai.  It's confusing, every time she meets someone new, she has to spell her name out loud.  Really slowly, several times.  Sometimes, she goes by the letter K, because it saves the explanation.  And all she wants to do is ink someone. 

8)  Angel unfold my wings
Jessie wants to fly.  She's signed up to the airforce and wants to have angel wings tattooed on her shoulder when she graduates flight school.  So far, she's been made to do extra push-ups and stay behind class with the flight instructor. 

9)  Koi fish turning into a dragon
Jerry and Dana have always wanted to visit China.  Their friend Tommy, told them that koi fish are really miniature dragons.  Hence the google search which lead them to my blog.  Silly Tommy. 

10)  Keep Calm and listen to Linkin Park
Clearly, someone with impeccable taste in music.  That is all.