Movie Review: Breaking Dawn - Part 1: Broken Headboards and Feathers

Let me break it down for you, by now - we have all heard, inhaled, read, assimilated Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga, right?  Great, so this review will be succinct and yes, a little frivolous.  Anyone seeking a serious review should go straight to 'google' now.   I'm going to by-pass the usual fluffy build up on the plot because we know -it's about a slightly twisted love triangle between a young girl called Bella,  the incredibly striking Edward Cullen, who just happens to be a 117 year old Vampire, and the extremely buff werewolf, Jacob Black.  Following the saga thus far, you will have read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse - yes?  If you've jumped headfirst into Breaking Dawn Part 1 - you are in deep trouble and just like a game of snakes and ladders - I suggest you slide down the ladder, to the start and endure all preceding movies, like the rest of us.

Breaking Dawn is the final instalment of the Twilight Saga, and it was an elephant of a book to read - and indeed lug around in my handbag.  I'm sorry?  It was in big print and easy to read?  Oh.  I had a hardback and I think the sheer weight of it justifies the splitting of the film into two parts.  Was it greed or need by Summit Entertainment?  Who knows, but the first few minutes of BD - Part 1 had me shifting uncomfortably - did we really need to see Bella turn off the light and go to bed? Hell no!  Luckily, my bag of peanut M&M's provided the required sugar hit and things improved from the honeymoon scene on Isle Esme.

What I enjoyed about this movie?

• They actually GOT married - hurrah! Finally, we can all get some sleep.
• An exotic island getaway, broken headboards and feathers galore!  YES.  
• Jacob's wardrobe budget must have been increased - a low count of ripped t shirts in this one.
• Bella's Wedding dress was quite delightful - a Caroline Herrera design - now available for any discerning Bella Brides out there... as is her engagement ring, music box...um, bedroom furniture... 
• Charlie Swan - aka Bella's father, played by Billy Burke, totally THE man.  I heart him, yes I do.
• The comedy between the old school friends (i.e the non vampires)
• The spooky cleaning lady from Isle Esme...she should have her own side drama.
• Seth, the cute little werewolf with a conscience - so sweet and naive but still... Boo Boo Stewart rocks!
• Chemistry within the twi-love-triangle, I felt it... it was there, almost tangible, ahem...
• The little Volturi kicker at the end of the credits...

What I found a little disturbing?

• The Wig collection - and yes, I do like the odd wig and powdered historical drama - but this is Twilight!
• Rosalie's wig in particular irked me, luckily the mole on her face is equally distracting so it balanced out.
• Bella's Mum, sorry I mean Mom, I have no other reason - I just find the character, er grating.
• Carlisle's make-up... yes, I know, he's a Vampire but really, powder much?
• Jacob's wardrobe - I mean come on, you build us up to see his powerful abs in New Moon and Eclipse...and then you put him back in clothes for Breaking Dawn?  *pouts* 
• The rather jolted acting of several sub-characters...Alice, Rosalie, Jasper...maybe it was the lighting or the editing, I don't know- were they just too good at playing frozen Vampires?

Overall, yes - there was plenty of cheese throughout the film but for all the kitsch dream sequences in this one, its still essentially a love story, right?  I gave it a 3/4 bag of peanut M&M's - if you're already part of the gazillion plus fan-base - you're going to see it anyway.  Captive audience indeed.  I'm hoping for a bloody big battle in the final of the movies.  BRING IT. 

Photocredit via tumblr