Pippa Middleton's £400k Book Party

My dear Mr Penguin,

I am writing to let you know that I too can throw a party! Great big fantabulous event-type-parties? Tick.  Intimate dinner parties at home.  Tick.  Tick.  The most funnest kids party on the block?  Tick.  Private party in dimly-lit-whispered-about-only-restaurants?  Tick. And I'm pretty wicked when it comes to entertaining guests.  Hint: Always keep your guests wineglasses topped up.  That way, they will provide much of the entertainment themselves.  I can create swans out of paper napkins, I am well-versed with the tricks of down lighting, decorating cupcakes and making ones own Christmas wreath from handpicked holly and mistletoe!  And I can shop till I drop, I have shiny brown hair - and yes, I'll answer to Princess.  And I write, godamnit, I write - I love writing, it's a passion for me.  *weeps, spills blood onto keyboard* 

So how do I feel about Pippa Middleton reportedly agreeing to an offer of £400k with yourselves?  Well now, I'd love to say I'm torn - but I'm not really.  Let's face it - Miss P has an enormous following, thanks in part to media attention - and yes, that little fact that she's Prince Williams sister-in-law.  What?  Oh yes, the arse -apparently, its quite delectable, much prettier than mine.

But let's keep focus here, the truth is, a lot of publishers wanted that deal and it went to the highest bidder.  Miss P can throw parties, she is after all an event planner so yes, qualified in that matter.  A party for £400k?   I suspect, a lot of people on this humble planet could do that, blindfolded - for half the cost.  Pardon?  Oh, right...their name is not Middleton.  Well, my dear Penguin, I'm not sure who will turn out to look like a total arse when the party planners book is finally released in time for Christmas next year - but I'm raising my Tiffany champagne flute and saying - jolly good for her!  After all, if we were all in her LK Bennett shoes right now, we'd be signing on the bottom line, yes?


Team Pippa, all the way!


PS:  If you need a writer for future party events - do feel free to contact me.
PPS:  For the record, I don't own a pair of LK Bennetts and I'm proud of that.
PPPS:  I am just as undateable as her though.

A/N:  So lovelies, tell me - how do you really feel about Pippa's book deal?  Yah, nay or dare I say, yawn?


  1. Haha, ridiculous. I don't much get the appeal of Pippa Middleton, but I don't have anything against her. I'm sure when her book comes out I'll rifle through it at a book store, but I won't be buying it, for sure.

  2. I must be missing something. But if there are people who will pay her that and who will buy her book, good for them. It might help the economy, people will have jobs. But sometimes I wonder...couldn't that money have gone to something a bit more important that a party planning book?

  3. Meredith, yes - I suspect there'll be many a 'rifled' book in the store next Autumn! ;-)

    Bish, based on her marketability right now, I'd say people will buy. And true on other books that may be deemed more 'important' - thats definitely a question flying around right now but like all books written by celebrities, publishers will bank on making the £400k back. Lets hope they do.

  4. I am never torn by what I feel about celebrities who get book deals: It pisses me off. I was never more annoyed when the quarterback here in Denver got a book deal for his bio-- bio? He is 22 (or close)! What bio could he possibly write? Tales from Kindegarten??? Ugh. But the fact that it goes on and on just reinforces the fact that publishers are more interested in a name that will sell books than they are in books and the quality therein.

    We keep writing though, don't we darling? It's our lifeblood. I'd write even knowing I didn't have a prayer at being published (I hope it's not yet that desperate). Happy writing! <3

  5. Meh... just crazy stuff - won't be a book I aspire to buy/read.

  6. Another (quasi) celebrity tome. Of course Pippa is darling but I could care less about her party planning skills. You, on the other hand...are you free to help me pull my pre-xmas fete together!?! ;)

  7. Well, I did just put together a Thanksgiving feast for the family where the main topic of conversation was whether or not baked corn is a traditional Thanksgiving part of the meal or only a tradition for our family. Should I write a book about it? Everyone was happy all day.
    I guess I have another celebrity book to put on my 'never to bought list.'

  8. Really? 400k for a party planning book? I dont get it!

  9. Hi,

    Good luck to her, though a bit of a come-down from being favoured for your arse, and now nothing more than a celeb book author! YUK...Make more sense if she'd hooked Prince No 2. Had she nabbed Harry boy = Duchess or countess of what though: Chelsea?! ;)


  10. I don't think of it as a book, I think of it as her opportunity. For the rest of her life, she's going to be known as Kate Middleton's sister...so she might as well make the best of it!

  11. Alright, now that I've stopped laughing at how awesome your wording was throughout this entire post, I say YAY HER! That huge of a book deal would make anyone happy. I'm happy she's undoubtedly happy.

  12. Hahaha. Great letter! In my humble opinion, anyone can throw a helluva party when the budget is no concern. It takes true creativity and talent to throw a party when you don't have any money.

    Maybe if I get one of my sisters to marry into royalty I can get a book deal too? ;)

  13. Haha! Great letter, Talei. You are one talented party lady and a real writer on top of it all. I hadn't heard about the book deal. Isn't that something? She's one lucky lady, and with all the hype about her, we shouldn't be surprised that she got a book deal. I'm just surprised that it's a book about party planning and not a children's book! By the way, I don't have any LK Bennetts either, and I have to fess up that I hadn't even heard of them before! I'm not into name brands. I'll have to check out JK Bennetts online and see what I've been missing!

  14. So funny. Great letter, Talei.
    I'm just sick to death of celebrity book deals. Or celebrity anything come to that. I wouldn't mind quite so much if they'd done something to warrant celebrity status.
    I love Vicki's comment and I'm now determined to get my sister married into royalty. Charlie would be perfect for her, but alas, he's taken. ;)

  15. Big fat yawn from me, I'm afraid.

    But your post made me laugh, so thank you! :)

  16. Danette, you made me laugh. Bios by anyone under 60 years old are indeed questionable. Live LIFE first! And yes, you must keep writing my friend! x

    Nicole, I suspect you're not alone on that.

    Johanna, pre-Xmas fete - do tell! Of course I can throw around some ideas! ;-)

    Susan, well now, cookbooks are always popular at Christmas... get writing my dear!

    Jessie, think of it as having a face for a brand... well, kind of - for this book at least. The publishers have to banking on her marketability, I guess its like taking a punt, yes?

    Francine, I like that title 'Duchess of Chelsea', indeed my lovely!

    Liza, true! Though, I think she can hold her own away from her sister.

    Peggy, thanks lovely, glad you enjoyed the post. And yes, I'm happy - she's probably happy *waves pom-poms, falls flat on face* No, I'm really cheering! ;))

    Vicki, I think having sisters marrying into royalty wouldn't hurt! Get working on your siblings - Harry is still available!

    Lyn, thank you! Very pleased you enjoyed it too. LK Bennetts are fine, nothing OTT but since the Middleton sister have worn them - their pricing has shot up... yeah. AND they nowhere near the same calibre as Louboutins or Jimmys. *grande le sigh*

    Shirley, merci beaucoup! Am chuffed you enjoyed it too! What is the definition of celebrity these days? Usually notorious is not far behind. And never say never, Charlie might tire of Camilla and et voila - there's your sisters chance. ;-))

    Talli, hahaha. I figured you might yawn, seen it before right? I guess it won't be the last! I am glad you laughed though! :)


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