My dear Mr Penguin,
I am writing to let you know that I too can throw a party! Great big fantabulous event-type-parties? Tick. Intimate dinner parties at home. Tick. Tick. The most funnest kids party on the block? Tick. Private party in dimly-lit-whispered-about-only-restaurants? Tick. And I'm pretty wicked when it comes to entertaining guests. Hint: Always keep your guests wineglasses topped up. That way, they will provide much of the entertainment themselves. I can create swans out of paper napkins, I am well-versed with the tricks of down lighting, decorating cupcakes and making ones own Christmas wreath from handpicked holly and mistletoe! And I can shop till I drop, I have shiny brown hair - and yes, I'll answer to Princess. And I write, godamnit, I write - I love writing, it's a passion for me. *weeps, spills blood onto keyboard*
So how do I feel about Pippa Middleton reportedly agreeing to an offer of £400k with yourselves? Well now, I'd love to say I'm torn - but I'm not really. Let's face it - Miss P has an enormous following, thanks in part to media attention - and yes, that little fact that she's Prince Williams sister-in-law. What? Oh yes, the arse -apparently, its quite delectable, much prettier than mine.
But let's keep focus here, the truth is, a lot of publishers wanted that deal and it went to the highest bidder. Miss P can throw parties, she is after all an event planner so yes, qualified in that matter. A party for £400k? I suspect, a lot of people on this humble planet could do that, blindfolded - for half the cost. Pardon? Oh, right...their name is not Middleton. Well, my dear Penguin, I'm not sure who will turn out to look like a total arse when the party planners book is finally released in time for Christmas next year - but I'm raising my Tiffany champagne flute and saying - jolly good for her! After all, if we were all in her LK Bennett shoes right now, we'd be signing on the bottom line, yes?
Team Pippa, all the way!
PS: If you need a writer for future party events - do feel free to contact me.
PPS: For the record, I don't own a pair of LK Bennetts and I'm proud of that.
PPPS: I am just as undateable as her though.
A/N: So lovelies, tell me - how do you really feel about Pippa's book deal? Yah, nay or dare I say, yawn?