Cinderella's Shoe Blogfest

Madeleine at Scribble & Edit is hosting the Cinderella's Shoe Blogfest.  The challenge is "to write a 500 word piece about any character who loses an item that is found by another and results in their mutual happiness / relief / salvation / whatever."    Item lost, genre, style - it's your choice!

Here's my entry, I hope you will enjoy it.  Let me know your thoughts.

"Grace Adams!  Eyes forward.  What the devil are you doing?" Gracie's ears were burning; her face flushed.  She cursed under her breath at her wretched Art History teacher, Miss Branson who stood bellowing at her from the front of the classroom.  Gracie had been sending a reply to a silly text from Nessie, her twin sister who is sitting across the room, next to the far wall decorated with the students charcoal sketches.  "Well? Are you going to join the rest of us for the lesson, or is there something more pressing under your desk?"  Miss Branson's eyebrows poked over the top of her horn rimmed spectacles.

Gracie looked quickly at Nessie, whose head is bowed, conveniently hunched over her textbook. Witch! I'll get her later.  Gracie daren't look down at her hands, her thoughts scrambled.  Where could she hide her phone?  Her parents would be livid if Beastly Branson found it. She certainly couldn't hide it with the 18 pairs of classmates eyes trained on her right now.  Flipping penguins.  This is ridiculous.

"Well Miss Adams?"  Glared Beastly Branson.  "Care to share what's keeping you amused?"  Grace looked straight ahead.  "No, Miss Branson. There's nothing to share."  She cleared her throat.  The truth was, the text she was about to send, was about the new boy, Freddy Pettigrew-Huntington III.  The tall blonde Adonis whose heavenly hazel eyes had Nessie, and the rest of the female population flustered these days.  Gracie had dubbed him 'Lord Fancy Pants', she hadn't fallen under the haze like the rest of her classmates and her sister for that matter.  In fact, she'd caught him staring at her a couple times in gym and had tried returning his icy stare once, only to have him 'outstare' her.  Right now, she could feel Fancy Pants luminous hazels burning through the back of her blazer.  Much to her disgust, he had sauntered into the room and taken his seat behind her.  Nessie had texted some silly comment about his sexy walk.  Gracie had sent a tart reply, "Ok, Ur  rite, Freddy Fancy Pants = cute A**!"

"Grace Adams, stand up at once!" Oh dear.  Gracie had no choice, in one quick movement she stood, her hands dropped to her sides; she bumped her chair back so the scraping legs could disguise the clattering of her phone as it fell to the floor.  Somewhere across the room, Nessie coughed loudly, dropping her textbook -distracting the 18 pairs of eyes for a brief second.  Gracie kicked her phone back under her seat, hoping it would slide out of sight.  She could retrieve it later.

"Where is it?"  Beastly Branson was at her side now.
"Where is what?"
"Your phone.  I'm going to confiscate it till half term."
Gracie looked down, held up her hands in protest and scanned the clock at the front of the room.  Almost 3' O'clock.  The bell rang and the entire class visibly sighed.  Books and folders slammed shut.  Even Beastly Branson pursed her lips.  "Fine.  A warning to you Adams sisters, I have my eye on you and your phones." She turned to the students already scurrying from the room.  "Class dismissed."

Gracie waited until the hallway was empty before sneaking back into the room; Nessie hovered outside on lookout.  After spending a good few minutes hunting under the dusty, dirt scuffed desks,  Gracie appeared back outside.   

"It's not there!"  She hissed at her twin.
"What do you mean its not there?"
"It's freaking disappeared. Holy crap, I'm in deep s***."
"Are you sure you kicked it back?"
Grace glared at her sister.  "It's your fault.  If you hadn't sent that stupid Fancy Pants text..."
Nessie screwed her nose up.  "I saw you looking."
"Oh please...Mr Fancy Icicles Pants is all yours.  I've got to go, I'm late for gym already!"  

Gracie turned and headed out the front doors, exiting the old building.  On the steps below she pulled herself up.  Lord Fancy Pants was leaning up against the black railings, his blonde head tilted to one side, reading something on her phone?  She gasped, as he looked up at her, a wicked smile on his face.  "I believe this is yours, Miss Adams?"

A/N:  Grace Adams  Copyright © Talei Loto 2010 All Rights Reserved

Well as you can see 500 words went out the window! Just.  I hope you were entertained though and in case you're wondering, it is a happy ending, despite Gracie's protests.
Happy Writing and Have a Spooky Halloween!  I'm tossing up between a Wicked Witch or a Dark Angel - What's your costume?



  1. HAHA! Brilliant! I really enjoyed the voice here. And I like her spunk.

  2. Thanks Melissa!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! ;)

  3. Ha ha! That is actually very similar to the entry I wrote! Interesting what people come up with, hey :-)
    Thanks for sharing it!

  4. Talei,
    That was a fun 500 read!! Such good writing makes you want more.

  5. Rachel - thanks! How funny, indeed. I was reaching for something funny and unique!!?? LOL. Ah well. Will pop along to read yours and everyones entries today.

    Manzanita - very happy you enjoyed this piece. I don't normally write this genre but tis good to experiment. Thanks for popping by dear lady x ;)

  6. Your opening hooked me in immediately. I knew exactly how she felt. Ooh quite a cliffhanger ending too. I wonder how it will turn out? Great stuff. Thanks for joining in my blogfest :O)

  7. This was so good it went by so fast Talei are you working on this write now? is this from your wip, this is really good.
    I will sign up to beta for you because this is just so good. I want more!!!!!!! pretty please :)

  8. I love this story! I was hooked throughout the entire piece.

  9. Great story.
    I secretly love when the gorgeous guy gets the upper hand!
    Thanks for coming by to read my story too!

  10. Joanna - I love your enthusiasm! Thank you for such a great compliment. This is a new story, the one I'm working right now is completely different, - but I have put Gracie and Lord Fancy Pants on my projects list. Beta eh? I shall keep you posted, I may take you up on that once I have things in ship-shape condition. Thanks so much for stopping by! ;))

  11. Golden Eagle - thank you!! I love that you enjoyed this piece. It gives motivates me to write more!

  12. Heather - thank you! See the gorgeous guy always gets his way in the end. Thank you for the follow too. ;)

  13. Madeleine - thank you so much for organising this blogfest!! A great way to experiment with writing and find new blogging buddies along the way!! ;)

  14. TALEI ~
    Say, you really can write, and I greatly enjoyed this exclamation: "Flipping penguins."
    (Is that anything like flying aardvarks?)

    You do seem to have a good understanding of what teenagers think and do. Me, I don't even try to understand 'em, I just kill 'em off with dead Chihuahuas.

    I'll check out some of your other stuff(s).

    'Loyal American Underground'

  15. This was fun. I enjoyed reading it!

    And thanks for stopping by and commenting on my daughter's Halloween's pictures. Hope you have a good Halloween, too!!!

  16. Fabulous story. Oh the mischief I could have caused if cell phones had been around in the dark ages of my elementary school years.

    I'm an elf...they don't have wings but they do have pointed years and a great deal more humor than Mr. Spock...of star trek fame.

    N. R. Williams, fantasy author

  17. Love it! Lord Fancy Pants - LOL.
    Happy Halloween!

  18. I loved your story - it had me hooked from the opening sentence and the cliffhanger ending has left me wanting more!

    I'm not dressing up this year but if I was, I'd be zombie.

  19. Loved! What a fun blog fest!!! I should have done this!

  20. That was one crazy story. Good job.

    I'm just going to dress up as myself for Halloween--it's a sure scare for the kids who dare to come to my door.

    Tossing It Out

  21. Ahh! I want more! I love Grace's voice--flipping penguins is one of the best expressions I've ever heard :) Love this!

  22. I really liked your story. It's nice to brought back to a time in one's life.


  23. Stephen, 'flipping penguins' just popped into my head. I was trying not to swear really. LOL. Well, actually I've been playing with penguins lately truth be told. ;) Thanks for stopping by.

    Ann, thank you! ;) Your daughters pictures are amazing!

    Nancy, thanks. I agree! This story is also a little tribute to my twin nieces, whom I think may get up to this type of nonsense when they are older!! ;) Happy Halloween my dear! ;)

    Carol, glad you enjoyed! Lord Fancy Pants, he's actually quite lovely really. ;))

    Ellie, hello and welcome! Zombie eh? Now I would love to do that one year too!

    Jen, thank you! so glad you loved it!! ;)

    Lee, that could get interesting. Screaming kids running down the street? I've just organised my 'Fallen Angel's' wings - I don't think that could scare a fly off unfortunately. Thanks for the follow and for stopping by. ;)

    Meredith - thank you dear. The penguins salute you! ;)

    Michael - thanks so much. I do get nostalgic over those old school days at times. ;)

  24. I am planning on being a broadway dancer when we go to our churches fall festival tomorrow. It should be a blast!

    I am new to your blog and following you. I would love if you would stop by my blog and followed me.


  25. Great story... simply lovely! I like the happy ending.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and for your kind comment :-)


  26. I loved it! I am only just getting round to reading the stories (!) and this one is a real gem. Tension, humour and a nice little cliff hanger neatly packeged! Thanks
    :D om


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