Bedroom Chatter

What’s the strangest dialogue you’ve read in that all important bedroom scene?  You know the one where the MC finally gets it together with her Main Love Interest?  

*Whispers* I’m not referring to the cliché ‘....did the earth move for you, -and the stars and the moon…” OR, the “Wow! How was that for you honey?”

You see, -I was quite happily reading a novel recently, and all seemed to be going exceedingly well, –until that scene. Post-coital, when the recently bedded MC decides to psycho-analyse her hotly sought after Man about his ex-girlfriends marriage.  For the purposes of my post, I shall embellish a little but the dialogue went a little like this:

Satiated-Alpha-Hunky-Gent lies back in bed, pulling his lady into his arms: “Oh baby, you are the best!”
Freshly-Ravished-Lady, breathless: “Was that Lara? I saw you talking to earlier...”
Satiated-but-now-slightly-perplexed-Gent shifts uncomfortably: “Um, yeah, she’s having a few problems...”
Ravished Lady wearing furrowed brow sits upright, holding psychology manual: “Has she considered talking to someone professional about it...”

Me: Say what? How did they go from hot love-making to psycho analysis on said Hunks ex-girlfriend?

It seemed to jar the whole scene –I know conflict is required but seriously, can we pick the right moment? Call me old fashioned, but there’s bedroom conversation etiquette, -Politics, Religion, and Psycho Ex’s must be keep out of it at all costs.  Ahem, of course you can keep the hot sex scene in there…it’s the bedroom scene for crying out loud!  Sometimes it really might be best to draw the curtains, leave the two MCs alone to their sunset and fade to black.

Have you found any 'Jarring' dialogue in any books recently?


  1. Wow, now that is some dialogue that needs to go! Jarring isn't the word. Plain stupid might be :) No one and I repeat no one jumps from honey you are hot my god that was great to lets find out what's wrong with Laura... sheesh! :))

  2. I can't remember it word-for-word but there's been a few times where I've pitched the book yelling "what the hey?"
    Your dialogue is hilarious. I might have kept reading if it were in the book. LOL

  3. Hi,

    Oh What!

    Sounds B awful.

    No jarring dialogue of late, thank goodness. I'm reading a Sophie Kinsella. Not my book I hasten to add, but it's funny: sexual tension in the raspberries, and raspberry juice on her body! ;)


  4. Talei,

    I am so glad I popped into see you today. I've been working on my just finished first draft and hadn't visited for a while.... I do apologize.

    Anyway I just cracked up with your post.... This is hysterical! Where are the editors? Any one of could have critiqued that scene to death!

    I needed a good laugh after six weeks of insane writing. I'm in editing this week, but hope to see you a lot more often....

    I'm doing the happy dance with some '"friends" on my blog if you want a good laugh yourself.


  5. That's hilarious! Talking about ex's right after the bedroom scene... interesting twist :)

  6. Umm... I guess the sex wasn't as good for her as it was for him :p

  7. Thanks for your visit at sixtyfivewhatnow. Writers have formed great connections on blogger. Glad to know you.

  8. Yes! I just read a book where, seriously, the female lead has a dual personality. She goes from loving her husband unconditionally to sure he murdered his previous wife and is a sadist and back again. The sex was crazy. It was actually funny to read.
    I have a bad habit of making my bedroom scenes too silly and/or realistic and have to go back and make it more of a sensual fantasy.
    Someday I'm just going to write a scene where he has terrible breath and she has not groomed recently.

  9. ROFL! How "very" romantic. Makes one wonder where the author's head is after doing the do...(thinking of lover's exes? thinking of sister's boyfriend? thinking of things needed at the grocery?)

  10. Whoa. That just makes it weird. I agree with Bish, what was the writing thinking? That's just strange.

  11. I'm sure there are some dizzy nags who would do something so foolish in real life, but why put it in a book! Realism is for the birds, not the books.

  12. Oh dear, oh dear. Exactly the WRONG moment to put that kind of conflict in!

  13. Tabitha, ;)twas plain silly!

    Mary, what the hey indeed! ;)

    Francine, fun and raspberries? Sounds like a good book!

    Michael, lovely to see you and I did enjoy the happy dancing!

    Meredith, a very strange twist! ;)

    Melissa, it certainly appears that way, altho -she seemed to be in the throes of passion minutes earlier. :p

    Rosario, lovely to know you too!

    Erin, hahaha! I'll have to read that one! I guess the author wanted to pass on a message about certain social issues...which is admirable, only she sure chose the wrong moments to bring it up. ;)

    Bish, LOL. Groceries. I suspect there was a message in the psycho analysis somewhere... ;)

    Carolyn, ;) agreed, I know I embellished the dialogue here but I have to say some authors need to keep their subliminal messages in check.

    Melissa G, - I like that. I want pure escapism in my books! Give me that journey please. ;)

    Melissa M, - I think she could've faded to black and taken up the conflict the next morning. (IMHO) ;)

  14. Gee... and I was thinking about bringing up my lover's ex with him tonight after sex... so it's the wrong thing to do, huh?


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